


Brother

by stressed_irondad



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Baby Morgan Stark - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, He has definitely read the parenting manuel a few hundred times, Morgan Stark Is a Good Kid, One Shot, Passes a bucket for your tears, Post-Infinity War and Pre-Avenger's Endgame, Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), The Snap was a thing..., Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is Good With Kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29730132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stressed_irondad/pseuds/stressed_irondad
Summary: After being snapped away, Tony lost Peter and the light he brought to Tony’s heart dimmed. In order to heal, he knows he has to face the truth, but the path to relighting this connection won't be easy.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Tony Stark & Morgan Stark, Tony Stark & Peter Parker
Kudos: 32





	Brother

“Come here, baby. Let’s get you out of that car seat, huh?” 

Tony reached down from his position next to the Audi’s open side door to unfasten Morgan from her car seat, gently lifting her out of the confines of its safety. Transferring her to his left hip, he grabbed her diaper bag off the floor of the car next, slinging it over his free arm before shutting the door. Locking the car, he made sure he had everything he needed before starting his walk with Morgan. 

“Now Morgan, do you know why we’re here?” he cooed down to her face, large eyes shifting to him and blinking in recognition. 

She gave him a toothless smile, drool dripping down her chin as her whole face lit up at the use of her name. Smiling fondly, he wiped the drool and continued walking. He liked taking times like this to talk things out with Morgan. Others would say he was talking to himself, as Morgan at 13 months wasn’t capable of that type of intensive listening, but Tony could see in her eyes that she was with him. She would hang on to every word he said, even if she didn’t understand them all. 

It was this reason he liked to walk with her; it brought him peace. He could let his mind wander in the fresh air, but also spend some quality time with his daughter in the process. And while this walk wasn’t the usual route he took, the circumstances for it were very different, it was beautiful, nonetheless. 

They walked under tall oak trees, still bare from the winter, but adorning tiny green buds in the looming visions of spring. They peppered the branches like spots on a robin's egg, letting the world know that warmer weather was just around the corner. He could practically smell it in the air here. Everything was beginning to open with welcoming arms to allow the warm spring sun to shine through. The telltale signs of green grass were poking out of the muddy ground and the world had an overall less grey look as life began to seep back into the earth. 

While it was still early March, and Winter’s frosty edge hadn’t quite yet said goodbye, the weather on this day was pleasant. Spring air tickled Tony’s cheeks as he walked, soft and fragrant from the sun’s strong rays. It was the first sign that the season was finally receding, and Tony couldn’t be happier. Winters in New York were long, cold, and dark. He couldn’t wait until he could play outside with Morgan, take her on more outings like this one instead of being cooped up inside under a foot of snow. 

Taking a moment to admire the squirrels and birds as they scavenged for food in the newly thawing ground, Tony sighed and turned his attention back to Morgan. Her huge brown eyes were taking everything in, overwhelmed by everything surrounding her. Tony could see the wonder in her eyes, the curiosity that burned deep, and knew that she was going to be trouble when she got older.  _ Chances are she gets that from me. Pepper probably won’t be too happy.  _

Feeling a swell of emotion rising at the premise of watching her grow up to be a beautiful strong woman like her mother, Tony pushed some hair that had fallen on her face from her eyes. She didn’t even move her attention from where she was watching the world, causing Tony to chuckle. Every day he grew to love her a little more, if that was even possible. Even at just over one year old she had his heart. Morgan was the light of his life and had come during a very dark period. Without her, he didn’t know if he would have ever escaped. Pepper had done her best, and Tony loved her even more for it, but he had fallen into a darkness like never before after… 

He steadied himself as emotions bubbled up inside him causing hot prickles to form behind his eyes. He couldn't say it. It was too hard. Shaking his head, anger surged through him at his weakness. 

_ No! I need to say it. I need to accept what happened. _ He couldn’t keep hiding behind the walls he had built forever. Morgan needed to know, and that was what Tony was here to do. 

Letting it drop for now, he continued to walk down the winding path. Walking in silence, he picked up his one-sided conversation with Morgan once again, allowing his thoughts to climb from their prison. 

“We are here for a very special reason Little Miss. It’s finally time that I confront what happened, grasp my truth and whatnot, and I thought maybe you would like to help me with that.” 

Morgan babbled in response, something Tony took as confirmation that she was happy to be here. In all honesty, she was the real reason why he had come. While he was doing this for himself, in part, he had really wanted to give this experience to Morgan. He wanted,  _ needed _ , her to see it for herself. 

Drawing Morgan closer, he came around a familiar bend. In an automatic response to what was to come his body started to freeze, not allowing him to go any further. He pushed passed this, willing himself to keep walking. As he got closer, however, it became more difficult with each step. He had to fight back the instinct to run far away, but the tiny presence in his arms reminded him why he was doing this and kept him moving forward. 

As he walked over a small hill, his destination came into view. Outside of the trees, in a wide clearing, sat rows upon rows of huge marble slabs. Neatly spaced out, they were probably twelve feet high, jutting out of the earth like giant gravestones. That’s what they felt like too, the whole area giving off a heavily somber vibe. It was like time froze here, even the wind seeming to die down, leaving the air stagnant. It wasn’t empty though, as it never was. Every time he had come, which albeit wasn’t too often, there were always people milling about, forlorn expressions on their face. It was the same now. Small groups of people, couples, and those who had come alone all milled about the tall slabs. They shuffled like zombies, keeping close to their own group without paying each other any attention. Everyone here had been hit hard and the scars that had been left behind showed; the Earth was fractured, and nobody knew if it would ever heal the same again. 

Tony’s own heart gave a stab of pain, in sympathy for their loss, but in empathy as well. Despite having pushed it all away, locked it tight in a box within himself, he knew all too well where their pain was stemming from. 

_ “Mr. Stark, I don’t feel so good…” _

A loud coo from Morgan jolted him out of his reprieve and he glanced over to see what had caught her attention. He was still standing on the edge of the line of trees, just before the path broke into the clearing, allowing a small spider to gracefully lower itself from the tree above, dangling itself right in front of Morgan. It was small, about the size of a penny, and black with short legs. While Tony didn’t know what kind of spider it was, he knew it wasn’t dangerous. Ever since the day he had found out Pepper was pregnant he had done extensive research into anything that could be harmful to children. This had included a late-night study session where he made himself memorize every deadly creature in New York, the yellow sac spider being the most prominent one. This spider wasn’t that, so he knew Morgan was safe. 

Seeing that she wasn’t scared, and not being afraid of spiders himself, he watched in fascination as Morgan just stared in full curiosity before reaching out a tiny hand to grab at it. While she wasn’t being rough, he didn’t want her to accidentally squish it, so he gently picked it up from where it was dangling and placed it on a branch nearby. 

Marveling at the interaction that had just taken place, the gentleness and calm demeanor she had showed the tiny insect, Tony shook himself from his thoughts and continued down the path. 

While he had only been here one before, he knew the path well. It was something that haunted him every day; the guilt he felt burning the image in his mind. 

This close, the marble slabs seemed even bigger, towering high above and casting long shadows on the ground. Tony slowly made his way down the main path, searching the marble columns for where he needed to enter. 

Everything was going fine until he spotted it. 

His heart pounded so wildly in his chest that it hurt as he stared, transfixed on the object in front of him. He felt his breathing pick up, coming out as harsh gasps as his legs began to shake. 

_ “... I don’t know what’s happening, I …” _

Just as he was about to spiral out of control, Morgan brought him back as she placed her hand on his face, big brown eyes wide in concern. 

He had been on the edge of a panic attack, something he hadn’t felt in a long time, but now wasn’t the time to tip over that edge. He had to calm down, for her sake, so he forced himself to look away and took a couple shaky deep breaths. It was hard at first, his body not wanting to cooperate, but after a minute breathing became easier and he felt stronger. Swallowing hard, he took one last deep breath and looked Morgan in the eyes, letting her know everything was okay. 

“I’m- I’m okay baby. Daddy’s alright.” He kissed her forehead pointedly, showing her that she didn’t need to worry and felt her relax in his arms. 

It was this action from her that gave Tony the strength to move again. He needed to get up. He needed to confront his fear face-to-face instead of carrying it deep within. It was something he had to do for not only himself, but his family. They needed him, the real him, to come back home instead of this hollow shell he had felt himself become. He needed to start the healing process, and this was the only way that pit inside of him could begin to be filled. 

It was time. 

Walking right up to the slab, he set his jaw and let his eyes travel over it. He didn’t see it at first, but after a minute of searching it abruptly came into view. Once he saw it, he could see nothing else, tunnel vision drawing him into that one small spot. It was like all the background noise had disappeared and all that was left was the one thing that sat before his eyes. He hadn’t looked at the first time around; the finality of it making everything way too real. Shock rippled through him like turbulent waves as his eyes roamed over the polished rock. It was like a switch had been flipped inside him. Instead of the idea it had been before, something he could push away and focus on something else, it had now become a living entity inside his head. It was  _ real  _ and he needed to let the consequences of that sink in. 

_ “... don’t want to go. I don’t want to go, sir, please …” _

Slipping the diaper bag off his right shoulder, he numbly brought his hand up and ran it over the smooth stone, his stomach coiling as his fingers dipped over the carved lines beneath them. The engraving of a name. 

He began talking again, partly as a coping mechanism, but also a way to introduce Morgan. His voice was practically a whisper as he fought against the thick emotion in his throat. 

“This, this stone here, or I guess the name written on it… this is your big brother Peter, Morgan. You don’t know him, you never really will, but I’m going to make sure he’s a part of your life. He would have loved you, you know, if he was here. God, how couldn’t he?” 

Watching her reaction carefully, a big grin suddenly split her face as more drool pooled on her chin. As if she knew what was happening, she stretched out her arm again, allowing her fat little fist to rub where Tony’s hand had been seconds before. Transfixed to the spot, Tony felt a few tears roll down his face as pain and loss tore at his heart. This was the family he couldn’t have. Thanos had made sure of that. He had taken away Peter, along with so many others, and now the kid would never be able to meet his little sister, graduate high school, start his own life… 

_ “I’m-” _

“-sorry,” Tony choked out in a sob, stifling it with his hand as his eyes fell shut against the memory. 

_ Oh god, you were too young. Too young to have seen all of this, to have to fight, lose and think it was all your fault… but it’s not Pete, it's not.  _ **_I_ ** _ failed  _ **_you_ ** _. I should have protected you and I didn’t. You’re gone because of me…  _

A sudden rise of babbling from Morgan brought Tony to the present, wrenching him from the horrors of his mind, and he tried to compose himself for her once again, putting a watery smile on his face. She began smiling happily, unaware of the trauma a simple engraving of a name had brought up for Tony. 

He began talking again, pushing through the painful emotions to teach Morgan about her sibling she had never met. This was important to Tony. He was not about to let Peter disappear from his life, not completely. He wanted Morgan to know that he would always be a part of the family, even if he wasn't physically here. 

“Yeah, that’s Peter Morguna. Your big brother Peter. And don’t ever forget that, okay? He will always be a part of who you are. I’ll make sure of it.” 

Looking back at the engraving, she focused on it for a second before facing Tony again, surprising him when something other than babble escaped her lips. 

“Pee-da.” 

Tony gasped in shock, thinking the emotion of it all had caused him to imagine it. 

“What? What did you just say?” 

“Pee-da!” she squealed happily, rubbing Peter’s name more as she wiggled excitedly in Tony’s arms. 

_ Peter. Her first word. The first thing she had spoken was Peter’s name.  _

Allowing the sob to escape his lips this time, he crushed her gently into his chest. He stared at Peter’s name on the stone as he replied, “Yeah baby, that’s right. Peter.” 

He let more tears fall down his face as he looked at the white stone. They were tears of happiness, grief, sadness, anger, and loss, but they were also filled with hope. Hope that this wasn’t the end; hope that one day Peter would get to meet his little sister and live out the life he deserved. This visit had been good for Tony and he was glad he had mustered enough courage to come. It provided him with a new sense of purpose. There was a newfound light at the end of the tunnel. And while he didn’t know how, or when, one thing he knew for sure was that he would see his son once again. 


End file.
